Music

I listen to music a lot when I am feeling down. I have been super busy lately, which is great, but the busy times do not take away my sadness.

Peter Gabriel is an amazing singer and this song is so powerful. Back when Patric and I were engaged we fought a lot (we fought a lot when we were dating too, but while engaged those two months I had a lot of animosity towards getting married...even though I was the one pushing it)....anyway, I listed to "Don't give up" for like an entire day.

I have listened to a lot of it today as well...as I am feeling down.

My favorite part of the song is :

'got to walk out of here
I can't take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river's flowing
That river's flowing



Pretty sad to think that is my favorite part...but when he sings it it is so powerful..it encompasses a lot of my thoughts.

If you are a friend reading this...don't worry!! I am not suicidal, I could never ever ever do that to my son or husband. I just have a lot of unanswered questions and more than that, I am questioning a lot of things too....my head is spinning. Perhaps it is just from being too busy.

We had a great time with friends here....I am sad they are gone. I saw how happy Patric was with his best friend here. I think he really misses having a best friend like Rickard...they are special souls with a shared past. My husband is more brave than I. I can't even move three miles from my mom...my husband moved thousands of miles away from home and all that he knew. I wish I had that kind of courage. I wish I could just make big changes in my life that included a big move to somewhere unknown to me....somewhere where know one knew me or my struggles or past.

Sorry for the sullen post. I can't always be butterflies and rainbows (let's face it...I never really am anyway)