All about this pregnancy!

Ok - so let's back up now to holy crap - Sasha is pregnant?  After all those horrible years of pathetically sad blog posts!

So - Patric and I go the home equity line of credit - and he and I both discussed...do we remodel the bathroom or do full blown IVF.  We both decided that the bathroom remodel was the better choice.  It was something that for sure would happen.  And I had said after the mini-ivf cycle failed that that was it...I can't put anymore money into this.  I even wanted to get rid of all the baby stuff in the fall of 2012.  Patric said no though - so we didn't.

Anyway - fast forward - we start with the bathroom remodel and we are happy - it is closure, it means we chose to move on from trying to conceive.  Of course, there was always a chance - but I really was moving on.  I did meet someone who gave me some info on herbs and I started taking them in the summer of 2013 - they really helped regulate my hormones and I was having normal cycles again!  Some even as short as 28 days...but NEVER over 35 days again after I started the herbs.  This was HUGE to me, so I kept taking them, because I knew they were helping my body operate the way it should.

In January, a good friend of mine, my sister though this infertility journey, let me know that she was pregnant.  I was, of course, ECSTATIC for her...but then of course my thoughts turn to...did we make the right choice choosing the bathroom over trying medical interventions again.  Again, I felt like we did make the right choice and was ok again.

Patric quit his job.  His last day was near the end of January.

We had A LOT of snow this winter... A LOT!  And it happened to snow the week of Valentine's Day.  I will tell you there was no action on Valentine's Day - we actually went to my brother Ian's house that day - and when we came home...it just wasn't on my mind haha.

Come February 27-28...I am looking at the calendar and I start asking Patric - when did we have "relations"...haha.  I didn't tell him why or anything, but something was off.  I counted the days and I was like, hmm...well...maybe I am just off?  I didn't know when I ovulated this month - which after 4-5 years of tracking ovulation, I didn't need a test to let me know...I knew.  And this month I DIDN'T KNOW!  I had stopped taking my temperature months ago, didn't track anything...this is literally the first month I had no clue...which was actually great!

February 28 was a Friday.  I remember because they had a movie night at Josh's school.  I didn't want to go, I was feeling a little tired and sick to my stomach.  I stayed home - but Josh and Patric went.  I decided to pop some popcorn and watch a movie as well.  I didn't eat much of the popcorn - it was making me feel sick.  This was my second though - hmm...what is going on?  I love popcorn.

Saturday comes - I am crampy and so I just figure - eh, I will probably start soon...but if I make it to Sunday I am probably pregnant.  Obviously no signs of a period Saturday.

Sunday comes and goes...still no period - still crampy.  I don't have any tests in the house - remember, we moved on...so I never kept the,.

Of course, Monday comes - and it snows.  March 3 it snowed and Josh was out of school...again.  I didn't want to make a trip to the store to buy a test that was going to be negative anyway - so we didn't go.  At this point, I have let Patric know that I think I am late.  I even texted my sister to let her know I think I am late.

Tuesday - March 4 - we go to target in the afternoon.  Patric is like - just take the test in the morning.  I was like, uh, at this point, if I am pregnant it should say I am - regardless of the time of day - because I believe I was at like 37 or 38 days now into my cycle...which wouldn't normally be weird except I was still taking herbs and my body was regulated and I never went past 35 days anymore.

So I took the test.  and then I laid down in my bed.  I didn't want to look at it...because now I had my hopes up.  Now I NEEDED a positive test - even though I had told myself I had moved on.  So I made Patric go look.  He came out of the bathroom with a face that could have gone either way.  He walked it over to me, showed me it and then we hugged and cried.  I told him that we will enjoy this, no matter how long it lasts...because having three losses before I know that it isn't a sure thing just because I am pregnant.

Patric feels we need to tell Josh right away - I would have rather waited...but he really wanted to tell someone and I told him we weren't going to tell many people until after the 1st trimester was over.  So we told Josh but swore him to secrecy.  He did great by the way!  He didn't tell a soul!  I did tell my sister and I told my mom.

When I made my first appointment, they had me come in - confirm the pregnancy, do an ultrasound...and there is a possibility of twins.  My HCG levels were quite high as well...like over 5000 and I believe I was like almost 6 weeks then.  There was also another sack, though it wasn't a normal formed one, so my doctor had me come back about a week later to check on it.  By then, the sack is gone and I am relieved.  I love babies, but not sure I could do two at once!  Big props to my friend Anna for being an awesome mom of twins...as well as all the other friends I know who have had twins!

So anyway - moving forward - all looks good.  I tend to miscarry early - like 5-6 weeks, so I figure we may be in the clear.  We go to sweden, of course we let them know over there, and we come home and have another appointment in which case, all is still developing and I am out of the first trimester.  So I made the FB announcement.  All the world now knows!  Holy crap, things could still go wrong, but I feel pretty confident.

We have a few more uneventful months and appointments.  I go to girls camp (I always swore if I got pregnant I wouldn't go to girls camp...but then I didn't want to miss it with my girls!  Crazy how that worked out).

Anyway - we have the big ultrasound around 20 weeks(which I just realize was before school ended so before camp.  Josh had some weird vomiting episode for two mornings and was fine the rest of the day but we didn't let him go to school...so he missed the last two days of school and got to go to the ultrasound with us)...and of course, the little stinker isn't very cooperative.  I had to lay and shift and all that jazz for an hour!  The ultrasound tech was having a difficult time getting measurements, let alone a gender shot.  I was SO done!  The last two things the tech needed was the heart shots and she was willing to try again to see the gender shot.  She got her heart shots and then she saw the gender.   She was about 95% sure it was a girl.  Our little girl is a lot more modest then Josh.  She had her legs closed the majority of the ultrasound and even shied away from the ultrasound wand when it would come close...I don't think she liked the ultrasound being done on her.

So - we find out its a girl...I think... and I am super excited!  Patric and Josh sort of wanted another boy...but a girl balances us!  Plus- I would love to dress up a little girl!!

The rest of the summer is uneventful...getting bigger...and uncomfortable.  I have been much better this pregnancy about exercising and taking care of myself.  I am not perfect - but I walked a lot and ate better than I did with Josh.

I didn't have gestational diabetes with Josh and I don't with Camilla.  Not Group B positive either.  Got an ultrasound around 36-37 weeks - all looks good.  Baby's head is down.  My doctor is totally on board with a VBAC - so now we are just in the waiting mode.  I am 39 weeks and 1 day today.  I had Josh at 39 weeks 4 days - but I was induced and ultimately had a c-section.  I don't want another c-section if I can avoid it.  I want to experience child birth...as crazy as that is!

So - here are some pictures through the months!

We have one of her earlier - but this is the ultrasound we showed to announce she was coming on FB.  She is about 13 weeks here.

Here I am about 16 weeks

Proof miracles happen!  Anna pregnant with her twins and me about 17 weeks pregnant.

20 weeks pregnant - getting ready to go for a walk

Camilla at 20 weeks - she has some long legs!

This is me at 25 weeks on vacation at the beach - about to go for a walk

This is 27 weeks - hello third trimester!  Getting large!

 This is 32 weeks and 4 days.  It is fun to have all of these pictures because I didn't take a lot when I was pregnant with Josh.  I hated how I looked and felt about my body.  It's funny how things change!

Josh talking to his sister - this is 34 weeks

This is 37 weeks and 2 days

 Here I am at 39 weeks!  

She can come anytime now!!  We want to meet you little Camilla!!

There you go - that is my pregnancy story in a nutshell.  Tonight is trunk or treat, tomorrow is Halloween - and then I am ready for her to come whenever she likes (preferably sooner rather than later!).

-Sasha

Man...where has the time gone?

So - to be fair - for about 9 months I have been trying to find the log in information for this blog...and I couldn't figure it out.  I showed Patric our blog last night - to sort of reminisce, and of course, he found a way to get the log in information.  If only I had talked to him about it 9 months ago!!

So - here are some highlights from July 2013 - October 30, 2014.

-We were accepted as foster parents - though through the entire year and a half we have only been contacted once to care for a child while his foster parents went out of town.  They call this respite care.

-Josh started and finished 1st grade.  He really blossomed in 1st grade.  He had an AWESOME teacher, Mrs. Lemen, who really worked with his strengths and weaknesses.  He became a bookworm and a writer.  She also recommended him for the gifted program and he was accepted into it.  I was so worried he wouldn't get in - I kept asking him if he really wanted to try to be in it and it was ok if he didn't get in.  He would respond, well, Sage (his cousin) got into the program, so I will too.  Sage has always been super smart so I told him that doesn't necessarily mean you will get in.  I also prepped him for not getting in by saying he could always be tested again next year if he didn't get in.  Anyway - he got in and he LOVES spending every Thursday with Mrs. Doyle.

- We had another Christmas where Josh got the flu (or sick for a week...I assume it was the flu).  We are taking precautionary measures this year!  He immediately washes his hands and face when he gets home from school and we switched his showers to AFTER school instead of before. I hope he will stay healthy this Christmas!

- Around Thanksgiving 2013 Patric came home and told me basically his boss told him to look for another job.  I guess they had a disagreement and his rude boss told him to look elsewhere.  Patric took him seriously - though I don't think he was expecting Patric to - because in January 2014 Patric gave his boss his two week notice and it caught his boss off guard.
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-Patric started going to school in January.  Great program through BYU-Idaho - the Pathway program.  For 10 years Patric has talked about going back to school.  We even looked into it for the Spring/Summer 2013, but we couldn't get him a student loan because of some weird rule regarding him not signing up for the draft when he was 19 - even though he wasn't an American citizen.  To fix that, we would need his passports from when he was 19 on to handle the situation and well...we don't have them.  So I was like, well - you are going to have to figure something out - and he was again very frustrated.  And then...over the pulpit at church, they announced this new Pathway program and I KNEW this is why he couldn't get a student loan just a few months earlier - because he wasn't supposed to go to school yet.  And Pathway is cheap enough that we do not need student loans...so it worked out great!  Patric is in his 3rd semester - he has gotten As in all of his classes - he is officially accepted into BYU-I now...just need to sign him up for classes for January - once we figure out which ones he should take.  We still have about 3 years ahead of us of school for him - but it will be so very worth it to him when it is done.

- Oh - I am pregnant!  9 months pregnant to be exact.  It was a SURPRISE!  Of course, Patric quit in January and we got pregnant in February.  Funny how things work!  When we got pregnant with Josh, we got pregnant 3 months after I quit a job and started a new one.  I think I should probably write another post just to document my pregnancy...but it has been so great!

- In January, shortly after Patric quit, I decided we needed to go visit family in Sweden over Josh's spring break - so I bought tickets.  And we got to spend about 9 days in Sweden in April.  I was still in my first trimester, and felt ok for the most part, but there were some days I didn't feel great.  We got to spend time with all of Patric's family, a few of his friends and we even saw his 104 (103 at the time) grandma.  Her brain isn't all there anymore, as she didn't know who we were, but I felt it was important for Patric and Josh to see her.  The day we were leaving to go to Sweden, Josh got sick!  I mean, projectile vomiting sick!  I was like, GREAT!  We get to go in an airplane with a sick kid!  Luckily, he got the entire thing out of his system before we boarded the plane.  I think he had a really good time in Sweden. He got to ride horses, see his cousin compete in a horse competition, go in a hot tub with the men and drink non-alcoholic beer, play with Patric's friend's kids, go to Stockholm, visit with his swedish cousins, etc.

- Josh played soccer again in the Fall and Spring.  I coached the Fall but not the Spring - since we were going to miss too many games.

- Josh swam for the Montclair Seahawks this summer.  He LOVED it.  He also improved by the end of his season again.  I have his ribbons and meet information in his scrapbook.

- We went to NC with my family again.  Megan and Gregg weren't there - they had their fourth child, Greyson, in June.  It is always sad when my sister doesn't come on vacation, but I can fully understand why she wouldn't!  Also, my sister moved to Culpeper in February of this year.  We helped them move, and I was having a hard time (physically)....little did I know I was going to find out I was pregnant shortly after that.  The emotional part of her moving happened in the Fall/Winter of 2013.  When I went to her house around Christmas time, I came home and told Patric...it is going to happen soon.  Someone is going to buy her house...I just knew it.  And not soon after that, she had an offer that they accepted.  She loves it in Culpeper though and I feel like maybe her move has brought us closer.

- Josh started 2nd grade in early September.  He has Ms. Blevins and he really likes her.  Second grade is a lot more work than first grade!  A lot more testing!  We have to drill him on items he is going to be tested on daily.  He has at least one test a week.  I don't know if I agree with it, but what can I do?  He is learning geometry terms...GEOMETRY TERMS?  He will be tested on them on Friday.  Kind of bizarre to me, since he probably won't even have geometry until he is in high school - but oh well!  We decided not to do soccer this fall, with me being in my third trimester.  He seemed to be ok with it - and it has been nice not having every Saturday devoted to a game!

- Last summer I was called to be the YW President.  I enjoyed that calling and it is amazing how much you can love and care about a group of YW.  I was only YW President for about a year, but I hope they had a good time while I was in there, and also grew spiritually.  Patric was called as EQ President in July - and with me being pregnant and having to bring Josh to meetings, I knew with all that the YW President's role in the ward is, I just wouldn't be the best fit for the calling anymore and let my Bishopric know.  They have an awesome new YW President and I am currently without a calling...and I can't say I am complaining too much about that! : )

- It is October 30.  I am 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant.  At this time with my pregnancy with Josh I was starting the steps to being induced.  I had high blood pressure all throughout his pregnancy.  It also ended up in a c-section.  I am trying to avoid that this time around - and have a natural birth experience.  My blood pressure has been great and my doctor is totally on board with letting nature take its course.  She will just monitor things as I hit 40-41 weeks more (hopefully I won't hit 41 weeks...let alone 42 weeks!!).  I keep telling myself I will have a baby by Thanksgiving. but in reality, I would LOVE for her to come Saturday or Sunday of this weekend.  Josh was born at 39.5 weeks and he was 8 lbs 14 oz...I am not concerned about size at all!

- In October 2013, we decided it would be a good idea to remodel our master bathroom.  We had gotten a line of credit on the house a year earlier, and spent the majority of that time researching what we would want to do.  We got a few quotes and chose a nice guy.  But unfortunately, things just didn't work out and Patric ended up firing him and finishing the project himself - with the help of a friend and my brother.  It wasn't the most fun project and it took A LOT longer then it should have, but it is nice to have the bathroom done...and soon I hope to enjoy a nice HOT bath again in my clawfoot tub.

Let me see if I remember how to post pictures and I will get some going!  These might be slightly out of order...

A bunch of Swedes in a hot tub

After picture of our bathroom remodel

Before picture of bathroom remodel

Before picture of bathroom remodel

Before picture of bathroom remodel

 I met Beka Larson at girls camp in 2013 - she became a good friend REALLY quickly.  One of our trips to the temple.  She is now married and is Beka Topodas.  Seriously - love this girl!

Beka told us about a tree farm where you can cut your own Christmas trees..Patric was all over it!

Josh sick around Christmas

Christmas morning with my sick boy

The cousins at the beach in 2013

In between remodel of bathroom

Josh and Ella at the park in December 2013

Ice skating with his girl 2013

Josh's first day of 1st grade

First day of first grade

First time Patric voted - it was a local election

Halloween 2013 - I'm batman

Marie and Harry's land in Sweden - from our trip in April 2014

Josh winning his heat for both Freestyle and Backstroke 2014 season

Josh riding his Aunt Marie's horse

I forgot! Johnny Fever came home from his mission this summer!  Took a trip to the temple with him before he headed out to college.

Josh and Angelica (his friend in the neighborhood) Fall 2013

Josh and his 103 (now 104) great grandma in Sweden April 2014

We got A LOT of snow this winter - Josh enjoying it and a day off of school

Josh's first day of 2nd grade

Last swim meet for Josh of the 2014 season

Josh's swim team 2014

Josh's first grade pictures

Josh and Patric in Sweden April 2014

At Junibaken in Sweden April 2014

Josh finally lost some teeth!

Josh dragging poor Carlie in Winter 2014

Mom and I at the beach Summer 2013

Picking our tree for Christmas 2013

We got some professional pictures done in the Fall 2013

Went to Skyline Drive in October 2013

Look at all that snow! Winter 2014

Alright - well that is it for this post - I will post about the pregnancy next!  And try to keep this updated now!

--Sasha

Coming out of hiding?

Has it really been almost two years since I have posted on this blog?  I guess I really didn't have too much to blog about...my blog posts were becoming redundant and I suppose I just needed to break away.

What have the Andersson's been up to?

Josh started Kindergarten...and finished Kindergarten.  He played a few seasons of soccer.  He is currently swimming on the Ashland Stingray team.  He has improved greatly since the beginning of the season.  It has been hard waking up early for practices and meets each week, but Josh enjoys it, and most of the time is not too cranky when we wake him up.  One time I went to wake him up, and he responded in his crankiest voice "It's not my fault I like swimming."  Clearly the boy was conflicted that morning, because he didn't want to wake up, yet he knew he had to because of swimming.

Patric is still working at ACC.  We discussed the possibility of him quitting and working full time with me, but it just didn't feel right.  I initially felt good about it...and then it just started sinking in and I knew that it would not be the best thing for our family at this time.  In fact, I decided I needed to pull back a bit on my work....easier said than done.  I have busier times in the month, but all in all, I think I have accomplished this task. I am trying not to stress too much about work.

Patric also became a US Citizen in February of this year.  We put in his application on voting day in November and by February he was a citizen.  It is kind of nice to check that off of the list of things we wanted to accomplish.

In 2012, I did a couple of rounds of IUI tries and a mini IVF cycle.  Obviously I am not pregnant...so it did not work.  But, I am ok.  To be honest, the failed IUI cycles hurt worse than the mini-IVF cycle.  I had 4 eggs (mini cycles you do not get 15+ eggs, 4 is a great number), but none of them fertilized...not a one.  When we got that call, I just dropped to my knees for strength from my Heavenly Father to get through this.  When I was doing the IUI cycles I verbally said, if I ever go through IVF and it doesn't work...that may be the end of my faith....so knowing that the IVF cycle was not going to work (since the eggs didn't even fertilize) I knew I needed the extra push from above to help me get through that sadness...and I am happy to say I still have my faith and I could really feel support from the other side to get me through it.

June was a super busy month for us...I wasn't sure how I was going to get through it.  We signed Josh up for swim team, I was working, Patric was working..and we decided earlier in the year to finally complete our goal of becoming foster parents.  Now, the fostering program requires you to complete 27 hours of PRIDE training...and it was compacted into three weeks!  We went to training Tuesday and Thursday from 6-9p for three weeks and then had an all day session from 9-3 on one Saturday and 9-12 (we got out earlier) on another Saturday.  During this time, Josh had swim practices AND swim meets.  How was I going to pull this off?  Thankfully, I spoke with my mom about my predicament and she willfully took on the task of watching Josh.  It was a lot to take on, especially the early morning meets (Patric and I would wake up to take him at 6am for the beginning of the meet but my mom would be at the meet by 8:00 so that we could get to our training).  I thought it was going to be too much, but my mom surprised me last week and even showed up to Josh's meet when she didn't have to.  I am grateful for that support and I am sure Josh is too.

Now---I do want to make one thing clear....Patric and I had the goal to become foster parents at the beginning of our marriage...long before we had infertility issues.  Patric grew up in the fostering system in Sweden and ended up with the best family ever, and he wanted to give back to the program.  We always said we would have a couple of kids and then foster/adopt...or when I turned 30 we would foster/adopt.  Well...I am the dirty 30 this year, and I am one that likes to accomplish her goals...so while we are down a few kids in our goal, we are still going for the fostering.

Anyway - we have completed the training, all the paperwork we needed to get in, our home inspection and now we have our home study interviews.  We have one on Tuesday.  It is a lot to go through, but I can understand why the county has all these hoops to jump through.  You must be committed to the kids you take in and you must have a safe place for them to be while their parents are getting their lives together.  It is the goal for the parents to have their children placed back in their care again (that is if they haven't passed away).  I learned a lot about Patric going through this training...and learned that some of the crap I have thrown at him in our 10 year relationship probably did not help him at all.  They asked Patric to speak at the last training day about his experience as a foster child.  I am not sure there was a dry eye in the room.  I learned more about his experience as he was speaking...things he had never told me, especially about his half brother and the pain he felt being separated from him.  Even as I type this I tear up, because I had never heard Patric speak about it before like that.  Perhaps he spoke about his brother in a negative light for so long because it was easier than dealing with the pain and possible guilt he felt going to a great family while his brother ultimately went back to his bio mom.

Also - I have done a lot of research on eating...and I have learned that eating a more plant based diet is the way to go.  It has been weird for me to shift my thoughts completely, especially since I have done a high protein low carb diet several times in my life and feel that I lose weight best with this diet, but I knew something about it wasn't sustainable and I didn't want to eat meat every night.  I did a 6 week juice cleanse (though I ate on Sundays) and I LOVE juicing.  I still juice once or twice a day.  I feel healthier...and happier!  That is the crazy thing, I feel better mentally...the weight loss was a bonus, but not what I was going for.  I wanted to cleanse my body of all the crap I have put it through the last 5 years.  I have found that I am better able to care about others and think less of my situation...and also just be happy with my situation.  While not what I wanted in my life, I can handle it and am happy with my sweet boy and can handle anything that comes my way trial wise.

Anyway- I think I am going to end this blog for now.  I will attempt to keep it updated better than the last two years...

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

 Josh's Kindergarten Picture.  He did GREAT in Kindergarten and loves to learn!

 Christmas 2012--a few hours before Josh got sick with the flu that lasted his entire Christmas vacation from school.  I also got sick..but Patric did not.

The day Patric became an American citizen.

Patric snapped this shot of me this weekend.  At the end of Josh's meet they had a parent relay and I had to participate...even though I didn't have my bathing suit.

I love this shot I got of Josh a few weeks ago.  It wasn't his best swim of the season, that actually happened just yesterday, but all of these cute 8 and under boys, all lined up ready to compete.

Hope all is well with whoever reads this!

Sasha