Sasha & Patric & Josh & Camilla Too!!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Coming out of hiding?

Has it really been almost two years since I have posted on this blog?  I guess I really didn't have too much to blog blog posts were becoming redundant and I suppose I just needed to break away.

What have the Andersson's been up to?

Josh started Kindergarten...and finished Kindergarten.  He played a few seasons of soccer.  He is currently swimming on the Ashland Stingray team.  He has improved greatly since the beginning of the season.  It has been hard waking up early for practices and meets each week, but Josh enjoys it, and most of the time is not too cranky when we wake him up.  One time I went to wake him up, and he responded in his crankiest voice "It's not my fault I like swimming."  Clearly the boy was conflicted that morning, because he didn't want to wake up, yet he knew he had to because of swimming.

Patric is still working at ACC.  We discussed the possibility of him quitting and working full time with me, but it just didn't feel right.  I initially felt good about it...and then it just started sinking in and I knew that it would not be the best thing for our family at this time.  In fact, I decided I needed to pull back a bit on my work....easier said than done.  I have busier times in the month, but all in all, I think I have accomplished this task. I am trying not to stress too much about work.

Patric also became a US Citizen in February of this year.  We put in his application on voting day in November and by February he was a citizen.  It is kind of nice to check that off of the list of things we wanted to accomplish.

In 2012, I did a couple of rounds of IUI tries and a mini IVF cycle.  Obviously I am not it did not work.  But, I am ok.  To be honest, the failed IUI cycles hurt worse than the mini-IVF cycle.  I had 4 eggs (mini cycles you do not get 15+ eggs, 4 is a great number), but none of them fertilized...not a one.  When we got that call, I just dropped to my knees for strength from my Heavenly Father to get through this.  When I was doing the IUI cycles I verbally said, if I ever go through IVF and it doesn't work...that may be the end of my knowing that the IVF cycle was not going to work (since the eggs didn't even fertilize) I knew I needed the extra push from above to help me get through that sadness...and I am happy to say I still have my faith and I could really feel support from the other side to get me through it.

June was a super busy month for us...I wasn't sure how I was going to get through it.  We signed Josh up for swim team, I was working, Patric was working..and we decided earlier in the year to finally complete our goal of becoming foster parents.  Now, the fostering program requires you to complete 27 hours of PRIDE training...and it was compacted into three weeks!  We went to training Tuesday and Thursday from 6-9p for three weeks and then had an all day session from 9-3 on one Saturday and 9-12 (we got out earlier) on another Saturday.  During this time, Josh had swim practices AND swim meets.  How was I going to pull this off?  Thankfully, I spoke with my mom about my predicament and she willfully took on the task of watching Josh.  It was a lot to take on, especially the early morning meets (Patric and I would wake up to take him at 6am for the beginning of the meet but my mom would be at the meet by 8:00 so that we could get to our training).  I thought it was going to be too much, but my mom surprised me last week and even showed up to Josh's meet when she didn't have to.  I am grateful for that support and I am sure Josh is too.

Now---I do want to make one thing clear....Patric and I had the goal to become foster parents at the beginning of our marriage...long before we had infertility issues.  Patric grew up in the fostering system in Sweden and ended up with the best family ever, and he wanted to give back to the program.  We always said we would have a couple of kids and then foster/adopt...or when I turned 30 we would foster/adopt.  Well...I am the dirty 30 this year, and I am one that likes to accomplish her while we are down a few kids in our goal, we are still going for the fostering.

Anyway - we have completed the training, all the paperwork we needed to get in, our home inspection and now we have our home study interviews.  We have one on Tuesday.  It is a lot to go through, but I can understand why the county has all these hoops to jump through.  You must be committed to the kids you take in and you must have a safe place for them to be while their parents are getting their lives together.  It is the goal for the parents to have their children placed back in their care again (that is if they haven't passed away).  I learned a lot about Patric going through this training...and learned that some of the crap I have thrown at him in our 10 year relationship probably did not help him at all.  They asked Patric to speak at the last training day about his experience as a foster child.  I am not sure there was a dry eye in the room.  I learned more about his experience as he was speaking...things he had never told me, especially about his half brother and the pain he felt being separated from him.  Even as I type this I tear up, because I had never heard Patric speak about it before like that.  Perhaps he spoke about his brother in a negative light for so long because it was easier than dealing with the pain and possible guilt he felt going to a great family while his brother ultimately went back to his bio mom.

Also - I have done a lot of research on eating...and I have learned that eating a more plant based diet is the way to go.  It has been weird for me to shift my thoughts completely, especially since I have done a high protein low carb diet several times in my life and feel that I lose weight best with this diet, but I knew something about it wasn't sustainable and I didn't want to eat meat every night.  I did a 6 week juice cleanse (though I ate on Sundays) and I LOVE juicing.  I still juice once or twice a day.  I feel healthier...and happier!  That is the crazy thing, I feel better mentally...the weight loss was a bonus, but not what I was going for.  I wanted to cleanse my body of all the crap I have put it through the last 5 years.  I have found that I am better able to care about others and think less of my situation...and also just be happy with my situation.  While not what I wanted in my life, I can handle it and am happy with my sweet boy and can handle anything that comes my way trial wise.

Anyway- I think I am going to end this blog for now.  I will attempt to keep it updated better than the last two years...

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

 Josh's Kindergarten Picture.  He did GREAT in Kindergarten and loves to learn!
 Christmas 2012--a few hours before Josh got sick with the flu that lasted his entire Christmas vacation from school.  I also got sick..but Patric did not.

The day Patric became an American citizen.
Patric snapped this shot of me this weekend.  At the end of Josh's meet they had a parent relay and I had to participate...even though I didn't have my bathing suit.
I love this shot I got of Josh a few weeks ago.  It wasn't his best swim of the season, that actually happened just yesterday, but all of these cute 8 and under boys, all lined up ready to compete.

Hope all is well with whoever reads this!