Happy Easter and other news...

So Easter was this past Sunday---we also had the privilege to bless our new nephew Phoenix at church. It was a good day all in all. We traveled down to Stafford to have a delicious meal at my sister-in-law Natasha's parent's house. They always have a beautiful spread of food, and very yummy too! The setting is nice as well, as their house sits on top of a hill overlooking a lake. The weather was a bit cool, but nothing stopped those silly kids from having their Easter egg hunt.

Before going down to Stafford, we had a trial run with Josh at home. We also decorated Easter eggs with him, hence the outfit we put him in. We didn't want him to wear his nice Easter clothes and dump dye on it.

Here are some pictures of the day--
Starting his hunt...he knows right where to go!
I have wanted to take pictures at this tree since we moved into this house last year. It seems like the perfect tree to take pictures around. I like how they turned out!
Patric likes to put Josh in trees and take pictures.
I love this picture of Patric. My hot husband!
Josh loves his daddy. We didn't even tell him to kiss Patric...he just did it because he loves him!
Seeing what to do next to his egg!

On other news---

So I didn't have a miscarriage...I have an ectopic pregnancy. This means that the baby attached into somewhere other than the uterus...probably my right fallopian tube. They figured this out yesterday when I went to the doctor and my hormone levels had only dropped by 8 since the previous week...and I was rushed to radiology to get a better ultrasound machine. When she was doing the internal ultrasound she found a spot on my right side that was so painful. I didn't feel that pain at all through the two weeks I have been going through this hell...but she had to get good shots. She was a good sonographer!

So today I go to the doctor to get a shot of methotrexate, which is chemotherapy. I am hopeful that this will get rid of the cells in my tube and will be able to keep my tube from bursting. Now that I know I am a ticking time bomb it is kind of scary. I was working out hard core these past two weeks, not only to lose weight, but to just kinda get over what I am going through. It has been an emotional rollercoaster...depending on the time of day, I could be very positive or very lonely.

My doctor said I would have to wait 6 months to try to conceive again because the methotrexate kills off the hcg cells, but I have read online that it could be 3-6 months. I am hopeful that they will run tests at 3 months and if everything is clear that we can try then...which would be in line with when we wanted to try again away. The only thing I can think of as to why I had an ectopic pregnancy is because of scarring from my c-section with Josh. Hopefully this will not happen again!

My hcg levels are only at over 300, so that is good as well because there is not much in there that will need to be lowered with this shot. My levels were just over 600 when I started this process...so my body did half of the battle...it just needs a little push to get the war done.

My friend Mary called me last night and we talked about blogging and everything...and she made a good point to me about blogging...that it is something to have for the future. I wish that I would have blogged more when Josh was first born...of course I was a little busy with a newborn...but I am trying to keep this more updated now...not only for us but also for family in Sweden!

It's cherry blossom time!

Patric and I decided that we were going to go to see the Cherry Blossoms in DC this weekend. We have had a hard week...I had my 2nd miscarriage of the year...back to back...so we knew that we needed to get out of the house and enjoy the beautiful weather while we could. There were a lot of people, and I was in a bit of pain, but all in all it was a good time. I think Josh really liked seeing all of the trees and people. He was AWESOME the entire time we were there. He is such a good kid!

Here are some pictures of the day--


I just love this picture. I want to blow it up and put it somewhere in my house!

I love this smile! He is my handsome little boy!
I love the cherry blossoms. The trees were gorgeous and the weather was perfect!
A nice woman just walking by asked if we wanted her to take some pictures of us. She said she always felt bad for young families. It was nice to have a few pictures of all of us together!
He didn't cooperate with getting a good smiling picture...but I will settle with this one. He is saying that he wants to cuddle more and more...probably because I tell him I want to cuddle with him all the time. Sometimes I miss that little newborn who cuddled with me all day!

This is probably the most flattering picture of me of the day. The rest of the pictures I think I look tired...and I am.

So--while there is so much beauty around me, I was wallowing in my sorrow. I don't understand all that Heavenly Father has in store for me...but clearly He does not want me to have a child right now. The doctor did find about 10 cysts on just one of my ovaries...and I don't know what the other ovary looks like, but I suspect it isn't any better. I know that I need to lower my stress levels. I think the year 2009 has been a pretty tough one for me emotionally and even at work. The economy is hurting so many people around me...we are still staying afloat, but it is scary when we rely on other businesses to help us pay our bills.

Anyway--

We are taking a break from trying to have kids. We know that it is not difficult for us to get pregnant anymore...since we got pregnant on the first and second try...but we just want to find out what is going on with me. And I am going to use this time to lose more weight and be even more healthy for the next pregnancy.