Warning---very truthful thoughts will be flowing from my fingertips.
The end of 2009. Boy am I glad to see this year just be over. Just about 12 more hours until it is 2010. It was NOT a happy, joyous year for me. I did have a lot of good things happen this year, but the loss of two pregnancies kind of set the tone for me for the year. I tried to stay positive, keep the tears just to myself...but it is still hard. I was hoping to end the year right and be pregnant...but alas, there is no baby in my belly...and not even a hope that one would be coming. I am back to where I was last year, and that scares me. I found out I was pregnant in February...and my cycle started in December...so yeah...it has been a year since my first miscarriage of the year started. And then to have an ectopic after that...two happy times RIPPED from me. The positive of not being pregnant now, I suppose, is that it can't be taken away.
We have on our goal board that we will have a baby in 2010. I only have three more months, but probably closer to two because of my long cycles and then a baby in 2010 will not happen. You can see how this can make me feel even worse that this cycle was a bust. We did everything right this cycle...but Heavenly Father did not bless us with what we desire most. I have been blessed in other areas...I became an EA this year. I got a new client, a couple prospective tax clients, work with a financial consulting firm....all in all, we have survived a very hard economic year....but this is not what I desire MOST. I want to have a home full of children. I dont know if that will happen...and I am not sure if I will ever be happy about it.
So to take away from the doom and gloom that I feel---I have decided to focus on the good years that I remember.
2003 and 2004 were good years. I met Patric in 2003. We got married in 2004. 2006 was a good year. We got pregnant with Josh, I quit my job and got hired by American Disposal and I graduated from college. 2007 was the BEST year...we had Josh. Oh, my world was so happy then. I tried hard not to complain about him, frankly because there wasn't much to complain about! He was such an easy baby...I also started my business in 2007...life, frankly, could not have been better that year.
2001 was a fun year. I graduated high school, had a fun summer before college...went to college.
I know year's in my life that were not great. 1992 sucked, 1999 sucked. and 2009 can join those years.
Anyway--
GOOD RIDDANCE to you 2009. May 2010 bring my family all the happiness it deserves...because frankly...we are trying to be positive and happy, even when we are dumped on time and time again!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Another post already!?!
Ok---
I thought this post needed to be all on its own. The glory that is my new guitar! Patric REALLY did too much for me this year. I told him he had a budget of 150.00. He obviously did not stick to it....but he still got a REALLY good deal on the guitar. This guitar is probably close to 700.00, but he got it for 299.00. I have two goals already, to play "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd and "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens. Since I do not have the music books, I have relied on searches on the internet...and youtube has proved the best tool. People actually post themselves playing it and I can figure out the notes and write them down and then play.
I am pretty close with "Wish You Were Here" though the solo is going to take some MAJOR work...lots of stuff I have never done before...but the chords are pretty simple.
"Father and Son" is a different story...while I have the chords, Cat Stevens didn't make it easy...he changes chords A LOT! I WILL get these songs down soon!
Here she is, in all her glory!
Patric even got me a nice case!
Patric thought that I wanted a black guitar...I don't remember saying that I did, but he gave up that idea and went with this one...and I think it is beautiful!!
Isabelle likes it too!
Trying to pretend that I know what I am doing with my camera!
I thought this post needed to be all on its own. The glory that is my new guitar! Patric REALLY did too much for me this year. I told him he had a budget of 150.00. He obviously did not stick to it....but he still got a REALLY good deal on the guitar. This guitar is probably close to 700.00, but he got it for 299.00. I have two goals already, to play "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd and "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens. Since I do not have the music books, I have relied on searches on the internet...and youtube has proved the best tool. People actually post themselves playing it and I can figure out the notes and write them down and then play.
I am pretty close with "Wish You Were Here" though the solo is going to take some MAJOR work...lots of stuff I have never done before...but the chords are pretty simple.
"Father and Son" is a different story...while I have the chords, Cat Stevens didn't make it easy...he changes chords A LOT! I WILL get these songs down soon!
Here she is, in all her glory!
Patric even got me a nice case!
Patric thought that I wanted a black guitar...I don't remember saying that I did, but he gave up that idea and went with this one...and I think it is beautiful!!
Isabelle likes it too!
Trying to pretend that I know what I am doing with my camera!
Christmas!
We have survived another Christmas season. We didn't have time to get Christmas cards out, mainly because I was working three days a week through December and the other days were used to work and catch up on the house!
But we had a wonderful Christmas! Patric and I talked about doing Christmas cookies for some people, but neither of us had the motivation to do so. Well, Christmas Eve, I decided that I was NOT going to even touch the computer for work...and since Patric was at work for a few hours anyway (he SAID he was going to take the day off this year...but he didn't ;) ) I had TIME! So I baked chocolate chip cookies, shortbread cookies, cake brownies with chocolate frosting, and by the time I did all that, Patric was home and made cookies called Split Second cookies. They are really YUMMY!! We made some plates of cookies and embarked on delivering them, before heading over to my mom's house for a Christmas Eve feast.
Christmas Day we went downstairs to find Santa's gifts waiting for us! He was WAY too generous to me this year. He got me a REALLY FREAKIN NICE guitar...I mean...WAY too nice for such a beginner guitarist such as me...but it is beautiful and I have probably played over 12 hours since having it....and my poor fingers were hurting pretty bad, but they are doing ok today.
After having our Christmas morning, we went over to my brother David's house to share Christmas with the rest of my family (minus Ian and Natasha and the kids). It was a good day. We had REALLY yummy food and enjoyed watching some Christmas programs on BYUtv and playing the guitar. Patric went over to David's dressed in his pajamas and I was asked numerous times why he was wearing them...he was excited to get them, so he wanted to wear them!
We had a lot of late nights and early mornings and I haven't worked out since last Monday (I ALMOST got motivation to go to the gym this morning) so we are a bit slow here today. Patric had to go back to work...and Josh and I were sad to see him go! I have to work on Tuesday and Wednesday, but Thursday is New Year's eve (hopefully Patric will only work a half day that day as well) and then he will be home all day Friday again! I really miss him when he isn't around.
Here are some pictures--
Proof we had a white Christmas this year!
Josh is wearing his new pajamas he got in his stocking. I wish I had pajamas like that! They are so comfy and warm!! He finally got his muno microphone! I was SO SICK of him asking about it!!
When Dennis (Patric's brother) came into town, he brought Christmas gifts for Josh. He is asking me what they are! haha. He will LOVE them when the spring comes and we use them...they are big wands to do big bubbles!! He LOVES bubbles!!
He also received a book from his Uncle Dennis and Aunt Marie. I think Patric enjoyed the book more than Josh did! He was laughing a lot while he was reading it to Josh. Finally, a swedish book, written in English! I can read it to him too!
Don't mind my ugly appearance....take in the beauty of the guitar!
Getting ready to open some presents at David's house. The only thing Josh was interested in was actually OPENING the presents...not the present that was in them. Luckily, he loves his gifts and has been playing non-stop with his new toys.
Opening his Buzz Lightyear. He loves it...and frankly so do I! I love the movie Toy Story!
Not the best picture, especially since Josh REFUSED to look at the camera...but there you have it.
That was our Christmas!! It will hard to top this year for me at least!!
But we had a wonderful Christmas! Patric and I talked about doing Christmas cookies for some people, but neither of us had the motivation to do so. Well, Christmas Eve, I decided that I was NOT going to even touch the computer for work...and since Patric was at work for a few hours anyway (he SAID he was going to take the day off this year...but he didn't ;) ) I had TIME! So I baked chocolate chip cookies, shortbread cookies, cake brownies with chocolate frosting, and by the time I did all that, Patric was home and made cookies called Split Second cookies. They are really YUMMY!! We made some plates of cookies and embarked on delivering them, before heading over to my mom's house for a Christmas Eve feast.
Christmas Day we went downstairs to find Santa's gifts waiting for us! He was WAY too generous to me this year. He got me a REALLY FREAKIN NICE guitar...I mean...WAY too nice for such a beginner guitarist such as me...but it is beautiful and I have probably played over 12 hours since having it....and my poor fingers were hurting pretty bad, but they are doing ok today.
After having our Christmas morning, we went over to my brother David's house to share Christmas with the rest of my family (minus Ian and Natasha and the kids). It was a good day. We had REALLY yummy food and enjoyed watching some Christmas programs on BYUtv and playing the guitar. Patric went over to David's dressed in his pajamas and I was asked numerous times why he was wearing them...he was excited to get them, so he wanted to wear them!
We had a lot of late nights and early mornings and I haven't worked out since last Monday (I ALMOST got motivation to go to the gym this morning) so we are a bit slow here today. Patric had to go back to work...and Josh and I were sad to see him go! I have to work on Tuesday and Wednesday, but Thursday is New Year's eve (hopefully Patric will only work a half day that day as well) and then he will be home all day Friday again! I really miss him when he isn't around.
Here are some pictures--
Proof we had a white Christmas this year!
Josh is wearing his new pajamas he got in his stocking. I wish I had pajamas like that! They are so comfy and warm!! He finally got his muno microphone! I was SO SICK of him asking about it!!
When Dennis (Patric's brother) came into town, he brought Christmas gifts for Josh. He is asking me what they are! haha. He will LOVE them when the spring comes and we use them...they are big wands to do big bubbles!! He LOVES bubbles!!
He also received a book from his Uncle Dennis and Aunt Marie. I think Patric enjoyed the book more than Josh did! He was laughing a lot while he was reading it to Josh. Finally, a swedish book, written in English! I can read it to him too!
Don't mind my ugly appearance....take in the beauty of the guitar!
Getting ready to open some presents at David's house. The only thing Josh was interested in was actually OPENING the presents...not the present that was in them. Luckily, he loves his gifts and has been playing non-stop with his new toys.
Opening his Buzz Lightyear. He loves it...and frankly so do I! I love the movie Toy Story!
Not the best picture, especially since Josh REFUSED to look at the camera...but there you have it.That was our Christmas!! It will hard to top this year for me at least!!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Snow on Snow on Snow!
There is something so peaceful about the snow...and I could just sit and stare at those flakes falling for hours! We got a full 24 hours of snowfall from Friday night (December 18) to Saturday night (December 19). I do not remember EVER getting this much snow in December! It definitely makes Patric feel more at home too...and for that we can be thankful! It is hard, I am sure, for him to be so far away from his family...especially at this time of year.
We had a lot of fun in the snow though, even though it is WAY too deep to do any REAL sledding right now. We attempted to get some good sledding in at my mom's house, but the snow wasn't packed enough. When I was a kid (and granted...I still felt like one today) we would have been out on the hills the moment there was enough snow on the ground! Those hills would have had ramps on them and many different trails to take to go down the hill...but instead today, there were only three trails and the walk path was barely walked on! Tells you what this generation of kids are doing with their spare time...(ie...playing video games!)
Here are some pictures of our snow storm!
This was around noon time (I think...it could have been earlier.) Still so much more snow that came from that time on.
Josh LOVES to eat snow...it was hard to get a picture of him NOT eating the snow...in fact, I dont think I have one!
Carlie enjoying the snow...or rather...tolerating the snow! At least we shoveled a little path so she didnt get lost!
Once again...eating the snow...he is a true swede too because the snow didnt bother him at all!
Patric actually woke up early on Sunday to shovel the rest of the snow. He took some pictures before the sun came up.
One of my favorite shots that Patric took. You can see how much it snowed with this shot!
This is the other shot I like a lot.
Our roof!
We had a lot of fun in the snow though, even though it is WAY too deep to do any REAL sledding right now. We attempted to get some good sledding in at my mom's house, but the snow wasn't packed enough. When I was a kid (and granted...I still felt like one today) we would have been out on the hills the moment there was enough snow on the ground! Those hills would have had ramps on them and many different trails to take to go down the hill...but instead today, there were only three trails and the walk path was barely walked on! Tells you what this generation of kids are doing with their spare time...(ie...playing video games!)
Here are some pictures of our snow storm!
This was around noon time (I think...it could have been earlier.) Still so much more snow that came from that time on.
Josh LOVES to eat snow...it was hard to get a picture of him NOT eating the snow...in fact, I dont think I have one!
Carlie enjoying the snow...or rather...tolerating the snow! At least we shoveled a little path so she didnt get lost!
Once again...eating the snow...he is a true swede too because the snow didnt bother him at all!
Patric actually woke up early on Sunday to shovel the rest of the snow. He took some pictures before the sun came up.
One of my favorite shots that Patric took. You can see how much it snowed with this shot!
This is the other shot I like a lot.
Our roof!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Success!
By the amount of food consumed, and the amount NOT left over, I believe I had a good Christmas party. Patric had been talking about having a party since before Thanksgiving, but I am not as big of a party thrower or giver (if you can believe that)...but since I love my husband and want to make him happy, I agreed to have a party.
It was a lot of fun! We had a lot of friends and family come and enjoy the Christmas spirit of friendship and fellowship. Some friends I havent seen in a long time, and others I see on a weekly basis.
Also---
My mom brought me more correspondence from IBM. Back story--they overpaid me in benefits back in 2004 and were asking for the overpaid benefits to be paid back. This was no small sum of money, and the money is all gone now...I called to talk to someone there, they couldnt do anything...told me to write to the IBM Plan Administrator. I did. Got the letter back stating there was nothing they could do, it was their fiduciary responsibility. Little did they know I was already talking to my brother's friend, who also happens to be a lawyer. He drew up a letter with fancy codes and words and sent it off to IBM. Our hope was that it would scare them enough to go away....since it was coming from a lawyer.
Its amazing that one little letter can take away that problem! I tried not to freak out about it too much really. They had given me 60 days to appeal their decision, so I was going to get through the holidays without dealing with it (which if you know me, items like this stress me out a lot and I do not like them looming over my head). I did talk to my brother's fancy lawyer friend and asked him to write up the letter (but resolved to the fact that it probably wouldnt do anything and that we would have yet another bill to pay monthly for the next 5 years....even though it was IBM's fault!)
My favorite line of the letter is "Ms. Andersson does not have to repay this amount." They sent fancy lawyer friend, Jeff Wigodsky from Karp Frosh, the letter and cc'd me...which went to my mom's house because they are morons and do not know how to update an address (I told them my address and wrote it on the letter...they STILL sent it to my mom 's house).
I went back in forth in my head as to whether I should open the letter or not...it could put me in a foul mood right before my christmas party would get started...but I opened it and it was the great news.
Simply a Christmas miracle.
in other news--
Josh has taken to waking up around 715, coming into our bedroom and cuddling/falling asleep. It is nice to have my little man just relaxing every morning with us for a little bit.
We really do love our little boy!!
It was a lot of fun! We had a lot of friends and family come and enjoy the Christmas spirit of friendship and fellowship. Some friends I havent seen in a long time, and others I see on a weekly basis.
Also---
My mom brought me more correspondence from IBM. Back story--they overpaid me in benefits back in 2004 and were asking for the overpaid benefits to be paid back. This was no small sum of money, and the money is all gone now...I called to talk to someone there, they couldnt do anything...told me to write to the IBM Plan Administrator. I did. Got the letter back stating there was nothing they could do, it was their fiduciary responsibility. Little did they know I was already talking to my brother's friend, who also happens to be a lawyer. He drew up a letter with fancy codes and words and sent it off to IBM. Our hope was that it would scare them enough to go away....since it was coming from a lawyer.
Its amazing that one little letter can take away that problem! I tried not to freak out about it too much really. They had given me 60 days to appeal their decision, so I was going to get through the holidays without dealing with it (which if you know me, items like this stress me out a lot and I do not like them looming over my head). I did talk to my brother's fancy lawyer friend and asked him to write up the letter (but resolved to the fact that it probably wouldnt do anything and that we would have yet another bill to pay monthly for the next 5 years....even though it was IBM's fault!)
My favorite line of the letter is "Ms. Andersson does not have to repay this amount." They sent fancy lawyer friend, Jeff Wigodsky from Karp Frosh, the letter and cc'd me...which went to my mom's house because they are morons and do not know how to update an address (I told them my address and wrote it on the letter...they STILL sent it to my mom 's house).
I went back in forth in my head as to whether I should open the letter or not...it could put me in a foul mood right before my christmas party would get started...but I opened it and it was the great news.
Simply a Christmas miracle.
in other news--
Josh has taken to waking up around 715, coming into our bedroom and cuddling/falling asleep. It is nice to have my little man just relaxing every morning with us for a little bit.
We really do love our little boy!!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Snow!!
Our first snow of the season happened today! Thankfully, I went searching for a Christmas outfit with my mom and Josh yesterday and found a snowsuit at Old Navy on sale for $15. The lady at the checkout asked if I was buying it for the big snow tomorrow, and I just laughed and said, no...its just a good sale. Well...he already got to use them!! And Josh had SO MUCH fun playing in the snow. The first thing he did was throw snowballs...thats all he wanted to do! We built a snowman and took a walk around the block. Josh got to sit in the sled while we walked....he had a really fun time. We probably will get about 3-4 inches total. It is still snowing now. We were going to go up to the Swedish Embassy for a Swedish festival today, but with the snow I didn't want to go with all the stupid drivers...so maybe next year.
Patric made crepes for breakfast and hot dogs and mac and cheese for lunch. We had hot chocolate and watched The Polar Express and have a home made apple pie baking in the oven. Not a bad day if you ask me!!
Here are some pictures!
Patric dragging Josh in the sled.
Attempting a snow angel.
Daddy and son snow angels.
Throwing snowballs at mommy...
Good thing his aim is off!
Patric took a decent shot of Josh and I.
Love this shot!!
Frosty the Snowman.
If this isn't an awkward family photo I dont know what is!
I did my hair all nice for our Christmas photo and then played in the snow....so no family photo shoot today!
Also--a side note...a very fine man died today, Robert Brown. He was a great man and a close family friend. I pray that their family will come together this Christmas season and have fond memories of the great man he is. And I know that he and my dad are chumming it up in Heaven now! They were great friends.
Sasha
Patric made crepes for breakfast and hot dogs and mac and cheese for lunch. We had hot chocolate and watched The Polar Express and have a home made apple pie baking in the oven. Not a bad day if you ask me!!
Here are some pictures!
Patric dragging Josh in the sled.
Attempting a snow angel.
Daddy and son snow angels.
Throwing snowballs at mommy...
Good thing his aim is off!
Patric took a decent shot of Josh and I.
Love this shot!!
Frosty the Snowman.
If this isn't an awkward family photo I dont know what is!
I did my hair all nice for our Christmas photo and then played in the snow....so no family photo shoot today!Also--a side note...a very fine man died today, Robert Brown. He was a great man and a close family friend. I pray that their family will come together this Christmas season and have fond memories of the great man he is. And I know that he and my dad are chumming it up in Heaven now! They were great friends.
Sasha
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
My big oops!
Well...Im just going to spill it. I went red last month because I didnt get pregnant and we really wanted to get pregnant. But red is SO difficult to keep red...especially on blond hair! So...this month, when we didnt get pregnant again (ugh!) I decided to change it back to blond. Easier said than done!! I dyed it three times...it only lightened the red to a more brassy reddish orange and made my roots blond.
This morning, thankfully (the one time I am grateful Josh was sick) Josh had a sour stomach, so I had to stay home from going into DC for some work. I ran out and got a box of hightlighting (which never fails me) and worked on my hair. So, now I have blond/orange hair. Oh well...its gonna have to do for now. My hair needs a rest from these past two weeks.
Note to self...STOP DYING YOUR HAIR WHEN YOU DONT GET PREGNANT!! Paint your toenails...clean the house...scream! Just leave the hair alone.
In other news...the Friday after Thanksgiving, Ian, David, Megan, Teri, Charlie, my mom, Gregg, Patric and I went to the temple to do work for my dad and his family as well as family on my mom's side. What a great experience to be in the temple with my family! There is something special about going with my brothers and sister...I hope that we can do it again soon!
oh...and today is the first day we get to open our advent calendar!! Patric and I worked on an advent calendar that will hopefully last a long time with our little family. I need to take a picture of it! I can't wait until Patric gets home so we can open the envelope, learn about Jesus, and eat some chocolate!!
This morning, thankfully (the one time I am grateful Josh was sick) Josh had a sour stomach, so I had to stay home from going into DC for some work. I ran out and got a box of hightlighting (which never fails me) and worked on my hair. So, now I have blond/orange hair. Oh well...its gonna have to do for now. My hair needs a rest from these past two weeks.
Note to self...STOP DYING YOUR HAIR WHEN YOU DONT GET PREGNANT!! Paint your toenails...clean the house...scream! Just leave the hair alone.
In other news...the Friday after Thanksgiving, Ian, David, Megan, Teri, Charlie, my mom, Gregg, Patric and I went to the temple to do work for my dad and his family as well as family on my mom's side. What a great experience to be in the temple with my family! There is something special about going with my brothers and sister...I hope that we can do it again soon!
oh...and today is the first day we get to open our advent calendar!! Patric and I worked on an advent calendar that will hopefully last a long time with our little family. I need to take a picture of it! I can't wait until Patric gets home so we can open the envelope, learn about Jesus, and eat some chocolate!!
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