July!

Wow! Things have been a rollercoaster here in the Andersson home. Thankfully, the fence is complete. Patric did a beautiful job...I must say his fence looks better than most of the fences in Montclair...

The 4th of July, we put Josh in the bike parade that Montclair holds every year. He got to enjoy it with two of his cousins and his best friend Ella. After that, we went over to the firestation because they were having an open house. Josh got to get in the big firetruck and put on the heavy helmet that they wear. He got to bring a souvenir one home. He loves it! Then we went over to the pool to relax and cool off and then went to my mom's house for some food. We finished the day off with fireworks on the golf course and then we went home and set some of our own off. Josh is enjoying more and more things and it is fun to see his reaction to all the traditions I grew up with.

Some pictures of the bike parade.



Here are some pictures of Josh playing at the firestation-

Patric is still a kid too!

This helmet probably weighed more than Josh did!
I love this picture. Perfect sky, perfect little boy!

So, other than the 4th of July...this month has been plagued with me studying and losing my mind on several occasions. 2009 has not been an easy one for Sasha Andersson. Having two miscarriages kinda threw me for a loop...and then add on top of that no raise for Patric this year, the economy sucking hard for some of my clients which in turn makes it difficult for me, my townhouse going up for rent in August with nobody interested in renting it yet and the desire to have another baby on top of studying for the final exam for my EA license has made my head feel like it is going to explode. I feel like I am bullied sometimes by Heavenly Father...but it just pushes me to see how much I can take.

This past Thursday I think was my breaking point though. I was a freakin mess! And in the midst of my break down, I had to switch gears when my phone rang and a number showed up that I did not recognize. I went from crying and screaming to, "Hello this is Sasha" in my best professional voice. Luckily I picked up the phone because the person on the other line had an offer I couldn't refuse!

I met with this company on Friday and will start cleaning up some books on Tuesday for a client on theirs. I am a contract bookkeeper for a financial consulting firm. This is a HUGE break for us that will bring in good income and hopefully more prospective clients. After Patric's news of not getting a raise and the crappy insurance that he has through his company (we had to pay over 1,000 for the ectopic pregnancy while paying over 500.00 a month for the crappy insurance) my head started pumping ideas...and this idea feels so inspired that my hair crawls when I talk about it.

I didn't know how to handle a business and two kids (one day)...and then it occured to me...get busy enough and make enough money so that Patric can work with me and quit his job. Then, we can have more flexibility to still be with our kids but make money. Soon after this decision I browsed through craigslist and have been contacting people who need bookkeepers. This is the second contact that I have heard back from and the first that I will actually work with. I am hoping that the other contact I have will email me back soon. The goal is to have Patric quit by the next July (when I hope to be having a second baby)...but secretly I would love it if he could quit by January. Though...it would be good to get ahead a bit instead of just surviving.

So that is where we are at. I start doing sub work for my client on Tuesday. It is bittersweet because I have been home with Josh uninterrupted for 2.5 years almost...and now he will be farmed out to family at this point. When the summer is over, I will probably have to find someone who will take him on an hourly basis because it will not always be the same hours each week.

Life is good. It isn't easy...but I feel very blessed with the contact I have gotten. It is such a GREAT opportunity and a way to get my name out there even more.

June!

June is here and I know that it is going to be a tough month. We are only 1.5 weeks into it and I am exhausted!! I got some motivation again, after everything that happened the last month and a half, and decided to sign up to take the last test for my EA. I take it August 1. I wanted to take it BEFORE I went on vacation...hopefully I will pass! I passed the other two, so I am hopeful that I will pass this one as well. Though this test has more and harder material.

So--the studying for the test started on June 1. I will study every weekday until the exam. I will study on the weekends if needed. On top of studying (which takes a toll on me pretty quickly when I am working, taking care of Josh, and trying to run my household) I am also training for the swim part of a relay triathlon AND potty training Josh. I really took on a lot at once! It keeps me motivated and driven though...and life is NOT boring right now. Too much is going on to be boring!! Also--my efforts in the gym have continued to pay off...I have lost another 10 lbs. Only 12 more to go until I reach my goal. If I lose after that, I will be happy...but I will not worry so much about what the scale says once I get to my goal...I will probably focus even more on toning up.

On top of all that, we are putting up a fence...by ourselves...with the help thus far from our friend Brad and my stepdad Charlie. We have almost all of the posts up, with the exception of 2 or 3. It is a LONG project...and the weather has not cooperated much. I will be happy when that is done!

We also decided to join the Montclair Country Club. Josh LOVES swimming...and I didnt want to have to rely on my mom every time I wanted to go to the pool...so we joined. And luckily, they waived the entire initiation fee because my mom is a member! Woohoo! They also gave her a month free on her dues because I put her name as my reference. We only joined the swimming portion, because we don't have the money to fork out on the golfing...but the person who signed me up said that we could go twice a month and just pay green fees. I was pretty excited to hear about that and Patric was even more excited!

I can't believe it is June already! April was a blur...as you can imagine and May flew by as well. As time passes, I feel more and more ok about what happened. I am still VERY bummed that we do not have a little one on the way...but everything does happen for a reason and I am hopeful that I will find out that reason some time soon. I always said I didn't want a July or August baby, but we don't get to even start trying until October, so that would make a July baby if I got pregnant...and I am perfectly ok with that! If you have more than one kid and are reading this...when you start to complain about how hard it is with two...remember that there are people out there who want more and maybe do not have any at all...yes motherhood is hard...but it is SO rewarding as well...and I can only hope that I will have another one. Josh is such a joy to me...even in his worst of moods he can make me smile. I love that little guy and honestly would not mind having more JUST like him. He is so easy going and adapts to EVERYTHING so easily. This potty training thing has been a breeze. He rarely has accidents...he just amazes me every day.

Anyway--I better stop before I cry...

Here are some pictures of the little helper while we were working on the fence. It had rained like all week, so I put him in clothes that were ok to get dirty because he was going to get filthy...which he did!

Patric and Josh measuring.

Josh yelling "I did it!" I am not sure why he started yelling this...but it is one of my favorite phrases he says.
He picked this up all by himself. He is such a strong boy.
Notice the clover in his hand. He ALWAYS picks flowers when we are outside...sometimes he goes for my roses!! Drives me nuts...but it is pretty cute as well.

Memorial Day Weekend - Sunday

Well--

The final day here in NC. To say I am bummed about going home is an understatement. When I booked the vacation, I felt a little overwhelmed by the cost of it, but knew once I got to NC that I wouldn't care anymore, and it is true. It was worth every penny to come down here and relax...and even moreso, to be here with some friends who are also going through a tough time. Not that I am happy about the situation they are going through, but the thoughts that I have and that my friend have make me feel more normal. It was nice to just talk openly and honestly with someone who knew exactly how I was feeling. And I must say...she is much farther in her grieving process than I, or stronger than me! I was SO nice to hang out again! We hope to see them again soon.

Today was filled with the beach the entire day. We got on the beach around 10am and went in for lunch around 1230. Josh was REALLY grumpy, and we didn't give him a nap yesterday or the day before, so we figured we should try to get him to sleep today. Thankfully he did take a nap without any resistance. Patric was kind enough to stay in the house so that I could go down to the beach with Anthrea. We were on the beach for a good 2 hours just hanging out and talking...oh and getting burned! Gotta love the sun and the burn though...burns turn to tans right?? Then Anthrea and Andy left and we ate some dinner. After dinner we debated as to whether we would drive home tonight or go home tomorrow. I am really tired from all the relaxing I have been doing and decided that I didn't want to go home. Why rush back to reality right? So we went on a walk on the beach and then got off the beach and walked on the road. After the walk we put Josh down and Patric went to DQ to give me my gluttonous sugar fix! That was the last ice cream either of us will eat for awhile...so I surely hope Patric enjoyed it!

I am so sad to be going back home tomorrow. I hope the traffic isn't too bad.

Here are some pictures of today---
The first step of making a Josh sized sand castle. Pack the castle shape full of sand.

Turn the castle shape over...
Make sure the shape is steady and sturdy on the sand.

Lift and see your results.

Josh and Patric playing in the water.

He is TOTALLY my kid. He absolutely LOVES the beach. It was such a fun trip and a warm up for our family trip in August.
Here is me in my glory. I probably should not have been wearing this swim suit, as my body is not all that great...but whatever. I wanted to tan my stretch marks...which you can't really see in this picture, but they are there!! AND THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM! Sorry...I am just so bummed still about them...I need to figure out how to get rid of them so I can feel more confident in a bathing suit.

Us being silly.
We asked Anthrea to take some pics of us before they went home. Too bad I didn't bother to dry my hair and Patric and Josh hadn't showered yet...so the pictures weren't all that great.

Anyway--it was a great Memorial Day Weekend. We will miss the beach, but will be back soon!

Memorial Day Weekend - Saturday

I woke up at 430, 530, and then again at 630 on Saturday. I finally decided to get up at 630 and walk over to the beach. It was the beginning of a beautiful day. Patric said that we should drive the car around to charge the battery. It almost didn't start again, and then when we parked further down the island to see the house we were renting in August and the beach around it..the car almost didn't start again. So--we decided to get a new battery. After we bought the battery, and got it installed, we were ready to enjoy the beach again. We ate our lunch and went down to the beach for some sun, sand and relaxation. Anthrea and Andy came down again and decided to stay the night as well. It has been very nice to be with good friends again. We have missed them a lot. For dinner, we kept it low key and did soup, sandwiches and salad. After dinner, Anthrea and I watched some movies and Patric and Andy went fishing. Unfortunately, they did not catch anything! After that, it was time for some much needed sleep!

Here are some pictures of the day--
The walkway we take to get to the beach.

Josh playing with his sand toys. *Disclaimer* I have been wearing a bikini to see how my stretch marks look with a tan. Not quite sure I have ANY business wearing one...but whatever...
Josh hard at work!
Josh in a hole someone dug. He liked playing with it.

Then daddy decided it would be fun to get in as well!

Memorial Day Weekend - Friday

So--

We hit the road for Memorial Day weekend and went to our favorite beach in North Carolina...Topsail Island. We were worried as we got in the car, all packed with our stuff, at 5:45 and the car seemed like it wasn't going to start! I had a feeling the day before that we were going to have battery problems...but I didn't listen to those intuitions. Good thing it did start though, and we were on our way. We got to the beach around 11:30. We went over to the rental office to see if we could get into the house, even though check in isn't until 3pm...they said we could get in like 20 mins later, so we went over to a shop and I bought a new swim suit. I bought two tops for the suit...one that is family friendly, and one that isn't. I REALLY want to see how my stretchmarks look tanned...and since I am small enough (at least in my head) to wear a two piece...I actually wore the bikini top. I must say...I wore it well.

We spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on the beach, hanging out with Anthrea and Andy who drove down from Jacksonville...and just hanging out. I am SO happy we made this trip. It is nice to be at the beach, with good friends, and relaxing.

Next up is NY Style Pizza at my favorite place on the island!

I took more video of today, and I don't think I can post that (or I don't know how to), then pictures...but here are the ones I took. Not the greatest but whatever!

Here is the house we rented. It isn't ocean front (cause that is much more expensive) but it is nice and only one row back.
The rest of the pics are of Patric and Josh. Josh was CRAZY in the water. He LOVED it!


I hope to get more pictures tomorrow! Maybe even some of me!

Dennis visits, kite flying, and a BIG BOY BED!!

Last weekend, we had the opportunity to have Patric's brother, Dennis visiting. Josh LOVES his Uncle Debbid (as he pronounced it). I was dealing with the second dose of methotrexate so I was not able to visit as much as Josh and Patric...which I am totally bummed about...but we will see Dennis again soon, I hope. I think Patric REALLY enjoyed having Dennis here. On Monday he was bummed that his brother was gone.

A couple of weeks ago, I took Josh to the park and there was a dad and son flying a kite. He kept saying over and over again that he wanted a kite. I told him that he needs to ask his daddy to buy a kite. So for a week, he kept asking over and over again, "buy a kite?" So we gave in and bought a kite. The day we chose to fly it, there was not very much wind....but Dennis was here and it seemed like a fun thing to do.

Here are some pictures of his visit...unfortunately we didn't think to get good family pictures while he was here, and we regret not getting any good shots of him and Josh.

Dennis came equipped with gifts for Josh for his birthday. He gave two books that I will not be able to read to him! One day I will learn more swedish!

Here he is opening the cool toy car made out of wood. Josh loves to drive it around the house. It was VERY hot...especially for April..so that is why Josh is all flushed. It was in the 90s!! I LOVED it!
This is the only picture I have of Dennis from the entire weekend....and it is of him taking pictures too! Oh well...clearly Patric is flying the kite.

Giving the control to Josh. He is such a big boy!

And now for his big boy bed...He has been taking his clothes off during nap time. Generally I dont care, but if he pees in his crib it is a big hassle to clean up. I read on the internet that if you get them out of a crib and in a big boy bed, and put a potty in their room, they may get up and use the potty. Unfortunately, that was not the case...and Josh STILL takes off his clothes...but he has only peed once this week in his big boy bed. I was a little worried that he wasn't going to stay in his bed...but he is so proud to be such a big boy that he has not attempted to get out since the first nap time...which my mom had to take care of because I had to go to the doctor to get my second dose of methotrexate.

He sleeps just as long at night and during his naps (though I think he naps EVEN better in his big boy bed). Patric and I feel so blessed that we have such an EASY kid when it comes to change. We took down the crib and never looked back..it has been a week now and things are GREAT!

Look at that smile! This picture was taken when we put his bed in his room for the first time. You gotta love Ikea...this bed is short for him now...but will extend two more times...the last time will extend into a twin bed. Josh did fall out of the bed three times...so Patric put up wood shelves on each side of the bed. He hasn't fallen out again, but I did find him on the floor one morning sleeping...he was just having a campout on the ground.

Tucking in Donkey Kong (who he loves and got from his cousin Erik last year. Erik was visiting from Sweden and we went to Kingsdominion and he won it and gave it to Josh).

Happy Easter and other news...

So Easter was this past Sunday---we also had the privilege to bless our new nephew Phoenix at church. It was a good day all in all. We traveled down to Stafford to have a delicious meal at my sister-in-law Natasha's parent's house. They always have a beautiful spread of food, and very yummy too! The setting is nice as well, as their house sits on top of a hill overlooking a lake. The weather was a bit cool, but nothing stopped those silly kids from having their Easter egg hunt.

Before going down to Stafford, we had a trial run with Josh at home. We also decorated Easter eggs with him, hence the outfit we put him in. We didn't want him to wear his nice Easter clothes and dump dye on it.

Here are some pictures of the day--
Starting his hunt...he knows right where to go!
I have wanted to take pictures at this tree since we moved into this house last year. It seems like the perfect tree to take pictures around. I like how they turned out!
Patric likes to put Josh in trees and take pictures.
I love this picture of Patric. My hot husband!
Josh loves his daddy. We didn't even tell him to kiss Patric...he just did it because he loves him!
Seeing what to do next to his egg!

On other news---

So I didn't have a miscarriage...I have an ectopic pregnancy. This means that the baby attached into somewhere other than the uterus...probably my right fallopian tube. They figured this out yesterday when I went to the doctor and my hormone levels had only dropped by 8 since the previous week...and I was rushed to radiology to get a better ultrasound machine. When she was doing the internal ultrasound she found a spot on my right side that was so painful. I didn't feel that pain at all through the two weeks I have been going through this hell...but she had to get good shots. She was a good sonographer!

So today I go to the doctor to get a shot of methotrexate, which is chemotherapy. I am hopeful that this will get rid of the cells in my tube and will be able to keep my tube from bursting. Now that I know I am a ticking time bomb it is kind of scary. I was working out hard core these past two weeks, not only to lose weight, but to just kinda get over what I am going through. It has been an emotional rollercoaster...depending on the time of day, I could be very positive or very lonely.

My doctor said I would have to wait 6 months to try to conceive again because the methotrexate kills off the hcg cells, but I have read online that it could be 3-6 months. I am hopeful that they will run tests at 3 months and if everything is clear that we can try then...which would be in line with when we wanted to try again away. The only thing I can think of as to why I had an ectopic pregnancy is because of scarring from my c-section with Josh. Hopefully this will not happen again!

My hcg levels are only at over 300, so that is good as well because there is not much in there that will need to be lowered with this shot. My levels were just over 600 when I started this process...so my body did half of the battle...it just needs a little push to get the war done.

My friend Mary called me last night and we talked about blogging and everything...and she made a good point to me about blogging...that it is something to have for the future. I wish that I would have blogged more when Josh was first born...of course I was a little busy with a newborn...but I am trying to keep this more updated now...not only for us but also for family in Sweden!